3 Things to Avoid in a Eulogy

Writing a eulogy in a relaxed setting with a clear mind is difficult enough. But when you are asked to accomplish this task while you are grieving the loss of a loved one, it can quickly become suffocating. Your ability to focus can become blurred, and you may be overcome by stress and emotions. To help keep yourself on track, try to avoid these three things when writing your eulogy:

1. Making the speech about you: The first and most important rule to remember when you are writing a eulogy is that the speech is not about you. You are honoring and celebrating the life of your lost loved one. Including a personal story is encouraged but be careful not to focus on yourself too much.


2. Making the speech too long: Be aware of the length of your speech. You want a eulogy to be between five and seven minutes long. A five-minute speech is about 750 words. Your speech can be up to seven minutes long, but if you speak longer than that you risk the chance of losing the attention of the audience. A seven-minute-long speech is roughly 1,000 words. Check with the officiant of the service ahead of time to see how long they would like your speech to be.


3. Being negative: Don’t focus on negative memories, thoughts, or stories about the deceased. You are telling their life story and honoring them. Incorporating faults, shortcomings, old hurts, grudges, family rifts, and past arguments in your speech is never a good idea.

Writing someone’s eulogy is an honor and privilege. Embrace this opportunity that has been given to you by your loved one. Good thoughts, happy stories, and fond memories of a life well lived deserve to be told. Celebrate your loved one by sharing their unique life story with everyone on that day. Never forget them and cherish the time you shared together here on earth.